Monday, January 3, 2011
The initial purge of 2011
The world would probably be a better place if I was a little more discreet, of this I am aware. The process of slowing down and not blurting out whatever it is that is bothering me....is not necessarily something that I have a handle on. I think partially I hate feeling crappy, and when I vent it makes the crappy feeling go away. That's my theory anyway. I want to get the poison out. I hate drama, though sometimes I know I do my fair share to create it, because often times when I need to vent or unload, it's taking part in the very drama that is likely causing the need to vent anyway. It's a viscous cycle. But I don't think that makes it so that I hate drama any less. I hate that anxious feeling, that upheaval of emotions, the uncertainty. That's all an example of something I do not want to put my energy into. It's like sitting in a rocking chair, no matter how fast you rock, you ain't goin no where.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i know exactly what you're talking about. when it frustrates you, you just want to get it out, and often it just perpetuates the cycle. i want to shake my fist at it and yell "fuck you!" (yes, that's really what i would like to say but don't.) for what it's worth, you can always talk to me. i promise that if you ever bring anything to me, i will not perpetuate any of the drama and will keep it between you and i alone. i love you.
ReplyDeleteHaha oh friend I know that's true. Thank you. I love you. I know I often have diarrhea of the mouth and speak with out thinking. I wasn't as much feeling bad about anything as much as I was recognizing my own faults. But I'm looking forward to see you this week and there will be only good times.
ReplyDelete