I've arrived.

I'm 31 today and it feels a little surreal. I'm not even certain I was finished being 30, but no matter how much I protested that I wasn't finished, the days seemed to forge ahead anyway. No complaints though. 30 has been one of the single best years of my whole entire life. It was a year, just like any other with the massive ups and downs, screw ups and successes, but this is different. I think the markedly different thing about 30 was that I felt a renewed sense of identity. I'm not remotely suggesting that I've reached the age where you stop seconding guessing your actions and replaying every moment in your head. I'm still a woman after all so that's going to be around et all. I don't know. But I know life is good, and it feels good. Sure there's little bumps in the road and some current heart breaking family situations, but I've got this legitimate joy for the people I'm around. It's like the stabilizing factor of life. No matter where I'm at or who I'm with I'm loved, just for me and that's a pretty amazing feeling.

Today will be a birthday that will be different, because I'm not really around my whole entire family like I am on my other birthdays. And I'm a little devastated every day by my sister drama, but life is good. God is good. and 31 is going to be freaking fantastic.