I've died 1000 times. I was reading in James this morning and it was so powerful. it talked about death and i've died so many times. sometimes i read the bible and it seems ridiculous and sometimes i read and it doesn't cause any feeling at all. but then i read it and it becomes clear and i try to figure out what does this mean? i hate waking up hurting. feeling the sting of old wounds. what's that about anyway? Sometimes i feel hopless sometimes i feel faithless.
i know that God is real, intuitively i feel it. if i trust my intuition for so many other things, then i have to trust my intuition about God.
I thought I was a Jew after I read the old testament. It confuses me most all the time.
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