Wednesday, August 11, 2010
If God were my boyfriend
So what do you do when God doesn't make sense? I trust that he's given me a brain,logic and intuition for a reason. So what do i do when those tools fail me? The very things i trust to guide me through every day life. Where do I turn when i'm left feeling duped and stupid? Surely there was a sign my intuition missed, right? surely i should have seen a hint of this right? so what do i do with that? where do you go from there? certainly God doesn't answer to me, but i'd love nothing more then answers because the questions are overwhelming and no climax seems to be in sight. it's hard to feel stupid. hard to admit that you're doubting a faith that your life has been based on. so what's harder? feeling stupid for not seeing that someone was going to lie to me? having my intuition be be wrong? or knowing that in theory God is faithful, but finding it hard to keep believing that as well? where does my intuition lay on that one? do i feel stupid believing the loving kind words of God even though i keep getting bumped and bruised along the way? if God were my boyfriend i'd probably dump him or we'd be on a break till he could treat me right.
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hahaha! well, i think if God were your boyfriend that there wouldn't be those inconsistencies we wrap ourselves into in relationship.
ReplyDeletedon't feel duped and stupid. i think it's good to trust people, even if it means getting hurt in the process. there's something much more joyful about trust than cynicism. and i don't know why God allows these things to happen, but i think intuition is something that shouldn't be played down. i mean, after all, i truly believe the Holy Spirit has a lot to do with it. there's logic and reason, intuitiveness and hope. these can get all jumbled together and we conclude something that isn't true. sucky suck suck.